Profiling has hit the CEO ranks hard.

Statistically speaking, David Bates had all the earmarks of a potential criminal: he was well-groomed, between the ages of 35 and 55, drove a luxury car, wore a suit, smiled at odd times, and said very little of substance. He was, in short, a likely corporate executive, and to police, that was reason enough.

Focusing on those "statistically proven to most likely to put the public at risk," police officers across the country have begun randomly stopping and questioning Executive Americans, searching for evidence of insider trading, phony bank account numbers, or incriminating memos to clients. Often unable to find anything, they usually release their "suspects," but not before "accidentally" scattering the contents of their briefcases to the winds.