ESPN.com: Page 2 Spots Guy - Cleaning out the mailbox
A classic Bill Simmons laugh-a-thon article that had me laughing hysterically on the train. Highlights included:
And how did beach volleyball become an Olympic sport when we already hand out medals for team volleyball? Isn't that like making three-on-three hoops an Olympic sport? In fact, why don't we just do that? And touch football, too. And wiffleball. Where does it end?
I mean, last week I threw something like 79 consecutive tennis balls down the sidewalk to the Dooze, using that ball flinger contraption they sell at Petco, and none of those 79 throws accidentally bounced onto the street. Can that be a sport? I honestly think I could beat anyone in the world at this. I'm like the Eric Gagne of tennis ball flinging. So where's my gold medal? How can I show off my talents in 2008? At the very least, they should adopt my idea of making gold medals different sizes, depending on the importance of the event. Like if you win the Decathalon, you get a Gold Medal so big that Beenie Man would wear it. But if you win for wind surfing, your gold medal would be the size of a nickel.
Q: Remember in "Rocky IV" when Apollo climbs in the ring after dancing around to "Living in America?" Well when he enters the ring he's in full costume with his boxing gloves on and the very next scene when he's telling Drago "I want you", his gloves have magically disappeared! How many other flaws can you find in "Rocky IV"?
--Corbin, Crisfeld, Md.
Honestly, years later, how fun would it be if your wedding ended up like this?
SG: You mean, other than the fact that Rocky drove a 35-gear Laborghini without ever looking at the road ... fought in Russia on Christmas Day for no money ... climbed a 55,000-foot mountain wearing running boots ... had the Russian crowd cheering against their own guy ... and singlehandedly ended the Cold War? Other than those?
A classic Bill Simmons laugh-a-thon article that had me laughing hysterically on the train. Highlights included:
And how did beach volleyball become an Olympic sport when we already hand out medals for team volleyball? Isn't that like making three-on-three hoops an Olympic sport? In fact, why don't we just do that? And touch football, too. And wiffleball. Where does it end?
I mean, last week I threw something like 79 consecutive tennis balls down the sidewalk to the Dooze, using that ball flinger contraption they sell at Petco, and none of those 79 throws accidentally bounced onto the street. Can that be a sport? I honestly think I could beat anyone in the world at this. I'm like the Eric Gagne of tennis ball flinging. So where's my gold medal? How can I show off my talents in 2008? At the very least, they should adopt my idea of making gold medals different sizes, depending on the importance of the event. Like if you win the Decathalon, you get a Gold Medal so big that Beenie Man would wear it. But if you win for wind surfing, your gold medal would be the size of a nickel.
Q: Remember in "Rocky IV" when Apollo climbs in the ring after dancing around to "Living in America?" Well when he enters the ring he's in full costume with his boxing gloves on and the very next scene when he's telling Drago "I want you", his gloves have magically disappeared! How many other flaws can you find in "Rocky IV"?
--Corbin, Crisfeld, Md.
Honestly, years later, how fun would it be if your wedding ended up like this?
SG: You mean, other than the fact that Rocky drove a 35-gear Laborghini without ever looking at the road ... fought in Russia on Christmas Day for no money ... climbed a 55,000-foot mountain wearing running boots ... had the Russian crowd cheering against their own guy ... and singlehandedly ended the Cold War? Other than those?
posted by Champion at 11:09 AM
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